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[12 Dec 2005|04:58pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com for those of you who didn't get the memo, i moved: illtakeyou <3
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[13 Nov 2005|10:47pm]
so ryactor will be dormant for a while


illtakeyou
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[09 Nov 2005|12:13am]
the following is ramblings;

i'm an actor.
i performer for peoples enjoyment and i sometimes get a kick out of it too.
but i've come into contact recently with people who act not for others enjoyment, but so they are approved by those people.
it's a very confusing situation for me, someone who for the most part has always been honest about being myself and being who i am - no matter. [with the exception of family knowledge of my life, obviously because my family is a horrible horrible monster].
what confuses me is how can someone create a character and live within it. why lie about yourself, not only to people around you, but also to yourself. it's just very confusing to me and i'm not sure why.
if creating a monster is what you want to do, please do so. but don't try to drag others into it.
there's no reason to lie about things so that people will like you.


"we will become silhouettes" by the postal service is sampled in the new honda civic commercial and it makes me smile. a lot.

i've come to the conclusion that popcorn, not ramon noodles, is the staple of a college student's diet.


HELP PASS MY POTATO!
http://www.passthepotato.com/potato-2.php?potatoid=051109002807-845159
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[07 Nov 2005|08:48pm]
making sure everyone sees this;

"OUT TONIGHT" music video
from RENT the movie.

http://www.theonenetwork.com/music_videos/rent/4460/out_tonight_300.html
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[07 Nov 2005|10:22am]
the season has offically ended, meaning i get some portion of my life back, but not all of it.
brit & i have promos out the wazoo to do and it shall be GLORIOUS - or not. just cold. really fucking cold.

i haven't had time to write down the stories like i used to do. i think i may regret that. but i seriously have had very little extra time.

i'm getting sick again and it's upsetting.
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[01 Nov 2005|01:11am]
i lost my rocky horror picture show virginity tonight.
with steph.

and it was amazing. i remember why ruthlynandi had so much fun with it.


i came in from the movie and my door was decorated for my birthday.


i love my friends.

mmmm. sleep.
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[29 Oct 2005|11:11am]
i hate being sick.
the flu sucks huge balls.
atleast i'm at home though,
i wouldn't want to play this game at school.

PEOPLE OF HOLLYWOOD! BOW DOWN TO DAKOTA FANNING!

my costumes were a big hit at Apex Thursday. Especailly Brad's Tarzan costume. He got hit on by about 20 different (gross) guys. I wish my costume was more obvious. A flamming fairy is a great idea, it just didn't seem to work as well as i wanted it to.


=(
i don't get to play at the last fearfest cause i'm sick.
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[23 Oct 2005|11:58pm]
the words seem to not be able to form
all the comes out is a single sigh
and then i return to hunching over my papers and books and ignoring whats going on in my mind
its a fun feeling-
ignorance

and damn ive been gassy
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[18 Oct 2005|11:03am]
Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Your date match profile:

Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Funny
3. Stylish
4. Big-Hearted
5. Outgoing
6. Adventurous
7. Wealthy/Ambitious
8. Intellectual
9. Romantic
10. Sensual
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Funny
2. Practical
3. Adventurous
4. Stylish
5. Romantic
6. Sensual
7. Big-Hearted
8. Outgoing
9. Intellectual
10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
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[17 Oct 2005|09:23pm]
"Sugar We're Going Down"

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week

Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song

(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]

Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
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[12 Oct 2005|10:23pm]
i was really depressing over the summer.
sorry.
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[06 Oct 2005|01:23am]
Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinkin' maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast and maybe
All my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinkin' 'bout everyone, everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars
I see someone else
When I look at the stars, the stars
I feel like myself

Stars looking at our planet,
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe startin' to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

I've been thinkin' 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a world beyond our own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Began to look like home

I've been thinkin' 'bout everyone, everyone you look so empty
But when I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars
I see someone else
When I look at the stars, the stars
I feel like myself

Everyone, everyone you feel so lonely
Everyone, ya everyone you feel so empty
When I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars
I feel like myself
When I look at the stars, the stars
I see someone
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[27 Sep 2005|11:14am]
is it bad that i was talking about fearfest yesterday and someone said it sucked and i got really really offended?
2 comments|post comment

[05 Sep 2005|10:53pm]
what has this summer has meant to me;
a list by ryan allen

-meet the nicktoons
-4-h camp as both a teen and staff {tang}
-two tickets
-todd
-college
-godfrey's & drag queens
-harry potter (which i didn't finish)
-character lead
-saying goodbye
-saying hi
-moving for the first time ever



-saying goodbye
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scolding hot / so raw [04 Sep 2005|09:17pm]
everytime someone i have a personal connection with dies, i flash back to that night in januaray of 2000.

i always have.
i always will.

death's a bitch. i wrote about that as my first college in-class writing assignement. i wrote about dad's funeral. funny how the word "fun" is in "funeral".

mom's pushing me to go to the wake and/or funeral. the first funeral service i went to was my dad's. the first wake i went to was aunt syliva's. i dont remember her. at all. but i went to her wake and it was so cold in the room. i felt as though i was the corpse. i don't particularly want to go visit casey at the funeral home. mom keeps reminding me that "i can help him the most. i know what he's going through." no two peple have the same stories or feelings toward death. i think that if i don't go to the funeral home, it'll be better for him. i'm going to leave him a card on his door. i think that's going to be the easiest/best thing for me.

it really depends on what time the wake is.

marcia was one of the drama mamas. and that's how i want to remember her. her pleasant glow and positive outlook made everyday better. and she came to everyone of casey's shows. every single show.
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[24 Aug 2005|11:44pm]
Ryan’s Schedule

Monday:
10:30-11:45 COMM 100 Innovation Hall #137
1:30-2:45 ENGL 101 Robinson Hall #A246

Tuesday:
9:00-10:15 GERM 101 Thompson Hall #232
12:00-1:50 UNIV 100 Johnson Center #239A
4:30-5:45 MATH 106 Aquia Module #101

Wednesday:
10:30-11:45 COMM 100 Innovation Hall #137
1:30-2:45 ENGL 101 Robinson Hall #A246
3:00-5:40 THR 210 Performing Arts Building #A101

Thursday:
9:00-10:15 GERM 101 Thompson Hall #232
12:00-1:50 UNIV 100 Johnson Center #239A
4:30-5:45 MATH 106 Aquia Module #101



rallen8@gmu.edu
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[24 Aug 2005|12:20am]
we all learned from each other
and now we are learning to say goodbye to each other.
"in 525,600 minutes ..."

this past week has made every memory that's sitting in my head, the ones that have been lying dormant for years and years, begin to swirl around. every moment i've spent every word i've said every person i've loved. because let's face it, i wouldn't be getting this upset unless it was love.

so my swirling memories are like this;
dad, maggie, connie, robert, family, ghs, school plays, play days, sing alongs, movie-a-thons, friends, car issues, tickets, concert tickets, broadway shows, baker's crust, PKD, nic & ryan, teresa, jenny, the BCC family, madonna [madonna, martha graham martha graham], gosh!, disney world, a few hookups, two boyfriends, "welcome to the 60s", wicked, rent, new york, santiago's village, the night wall, is the things they carried fiction?, hobbits, hobbit memories, hobbits. the hobbits. packing.


packing
packing
packing.

to put 18 years of stuff into a few small boxes seems almost impossible.
however, i've almost finished packing my life into a few boxes.

i have to start packing the car tmrw.
:sigh:

& then there were none.
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[23 Aug 2005|12:16pm]
no more goodbyes.
it's just becoming too much.
thanks.
love ryan
4 comments|post comment

[21 Aug 2005|12:11pm]
i got a new job.
better pay.
and a title.



i am now the assistant supervisor of the character department at paramount's kings dominion.



& i have to pack more.



la-la-la life is wonderful
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[14 Aug 2005|04:26pm]
what have you done today to make you feel proud?


i watched the last episodes of queer as folk last night and cried. it was kind of funny because i just got into the show and whatever, but it was still a good show. i wasn't really surprised by anything - it was all pretty predictable - but soo good.

so thursday i went on tomb raider firefall at work and almost pissed on myself.
firday monica, alli, and i went on the xtreme skyflyer - the bungee jumping thing - once again, almost peed on myself. but it was totally worth it. and i'll never do it again.

friday i also hosted the variety show at work, in drag. everyone liked the "tuned in" segment we did and my real cute jokes i made at -- everyone. pretty muchly the most fun i've ever had because i got to say whatever i was thinking.


i have to go finish packing for camp. i leave in like two hours.

and now im rethinking saying i'd go. =/

i miss my friends. i haven't seen anyone in a long time because of work. and we all leave soon.
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